Civil Rights Pioneer Rosa Parks Dies at 92

The Things I Can't Replace

Now I know I said that I was going to start talking about other things again but this Katrina event has me twisted real bad. I want to start writing about other things again but I never thought there would be one event that change every single thing in my life. I mean it changed everything. I have to keep talking about it because everything I do and see is effected by it. With that being said, I lost allot of material things in this storm. Most of them like my car, furniture and pool table I can replace. There are some other things I can't put a price on. Things that I either acquired over time out of love or were given to me do not have a price tag on them.

* The box from the hospital after losing my first baby.

I wanted to get that box when I went home real bad. I never look it in or touch it but that was a way of acknowledging her. The nurses and doctors at Touro Hospital were so friendly and professional that they made one of the worst moments of life allot easier to deal with.

* My Angel painting.

Right around the time of the baby's passing, I was at a gas station about to go in and buy me a drink when a man with two little twin girls came up to me. He told me they were his grandchildren and were hungry. He was trying to get some money for them by selling these hand drawn pictures he had made. He offered me a picture of this little angel. The eyes on the picture looked straight at you. I gave him the twenty dollars I was spending on the bottle and hung the picture up on my wall. It had been there ever since.

* My Video Tape Collection
What made my video tape collection special to me was the fact that I had been making the tapes since I was 14 years old(the first time we had a VCR). There were two categories. There was my wrestling tapes which were mostly hand made from shows I had watched and recorded whenever they would come on TV. There were about 50 of them. Then there were about 20 tapes of all kinds of television events and videos that I may not be able to buy or will come on again. One of my short term goals was to buy myself one of those VHS/DVD recorders and transfer them all to disc to protect them from wearing out. I never got the chance. I don't think I will be able to get back the WYLD talent show performance with my friend Joe's group or the recording of myself on television.

* Source Magazines 1992-1997

Between 1991 and 1997 I was totally into the culture. I discovered the Source magazine at Tower Records and after that for 5 years straight I was there the first Tuesday of every month to get the new edition. These were the years before they lost all relevance. I didn't buy them like I used to but since I am such a nostalgic guy and believe in having mementos around, I kept these in mint condition on my shelf. I was going to see how many years I could keep them. I wanted to show them to my kids when they were older to show them how real the music and the culture used to be for some people. By the way, just because the storm came doesn't mean I didn't notice they gave Lil Kim five mics either. What was up with that?

* My Vinyl Albums
Once again, I am a old school and nostalgic guy. I also love the sound of old records. One of the things I was proud to have was my album collection. The biggest reason is that I didn't pay for one single album. All the albums I had were either found somewhere or were given to me by my godmother, parents or my auntie Lenell. I had been looking at some of these albums since a little boy hoping one day they would be mine. I finally got them all and then they went swimming. I know I can't I can't put a price on any of these. I was just about to go and start the hustling process to get the ones from my auntie Anna.

* Letters, Cards, and Pictures

This is probably the most personal and irreplaceable thing. I kept every birthday, Valentine's Day and all kinds of other items like this. I guess you can tell by now that I hardly threw anything away. A few items I definitely would have brought with me if I knew this was coming. I would have brought the pictures of all my deceased high school friends with me. I would have bought the Christmas cards given to me by Kendra and Nicole in high school because they were a surprise to me. They were hand written notes inside of them. I definitely would have taken the birthday card my sister Michelle gave to me this year. She made it and wrote the words herself. It choked me up beyond belief. I can never get any of these things back.

It's losing stuff like this that gives me mixed emotions about going back home sometimes. The fact of the matter is that besides the few pictures I salvaged and what was in my wallet there is nothing from the first 30 years of my life. That's the hardest part about rebuilding. You can replace wood, brick and furniture. You can't replace my deceased Aunt's tea kettle I had or the only picture Tara had of her grandmother that used to sit near the fish tank. I could go on and on about things like this. You can't file an insurance claim for that type of stuff. Those items had unlimited value even if it was only to the person that had it.

Before I write anything else I have to send a shout out to the Mrs. Harris that keeps leaving me those wonderful comments. I want to say thanks and I finally realized that you were not my mama acting like a stranger. :-)

This is the beginning of a new week and hopefully a new outlook for me. I have to start getting things together and moving on. Two months of sitting around is long enough. I am going to go crazy if I just sit here and ponder the past and the future every day without making a move. The first things on the agenda for me are simple things.

• Get a birth certificate.
• Write a resume.
• Get some interview clothes.
• Reorganize my finances.
• Stop drinking beer all day long.

The last one is the hardest because when you are bored as I am and getting paid, there is nothing else to do during the day. I have to get out of this house.

I need to apologize to Tom Benson for wanting to move the Saints. If you think about it, how can we be mad at him when 40% of the people that lived in the city are not returning to assist in the rebuilding themselves? In order for me to be mad at Tom Benson, I would have to be mad at my parents, family, the majority of my friends and myself. I say let them go and lets not spend that money that we need in other places to keep them. The city and state have so much on their plate that they shouldn’t even have enough time to pay attention to the Saints anyway. We need hospitals, schools, and all kinds of stuff before we can worry about going to a football game.

The Jackson area is alright and the people are actually friendlier than the ones in New Orleans but how come you can’t get anyone in this place to give you accurate directions to anywhere……And why is everything in the phone book in a different place that was is listed in there?

I see the same things happening around here in Jackson that happened to New Orleans. The suburb here is growing by leaps and bounds. Eventually, no one will do anything in Jackson but work and leave. Their only saving grace is that life is a little slower and simple than most inner cities and they might be able to survive the tax base erosion.

I have spent the last two months being consumed by Katrina. I have never let one thing take over my every thought like this. Starting today, I need to see what else is going on in the world.

Chillin in Clinton

Well, I am now in an apartment in Clinton, Mississippi. I guess it's ok. It's real quiet and deers sit out next to the road on the way to the complex. I finally realized just how much of a hardcore New Orleans guy I was. The urge to go cruising to find a jazz band playing or a hole in the wall barroom is strong. I will just have to deal with that from this apartment because this area doesn't look like the cruising type. I have to start paying attention to other things going on in my life and in the world. Every day and every thought can't be about Katrina. I will try my best to let other things in. I think it's needed.

This is my last night staying at the Hampton Inn in Jackson. It's

been uncomfortable from a space standpoint but I actually have met

some cool people from New Orleans that helped me feel not so

deserted. There are some things about this storm process that are

pissing me off a little.

Mississippi is already drawing up plans for construction in

rebuilding their state and my governor just decided on the

committee today. You have got to be kidding me. I am looking into

making my 6 month least into a year long lease because nothing is

going to happen. I think my plan may be to coordinate with my

family so we can live closer to one another and see what happens

over time. Nobody really wants us back anyway. The media keeps

subliminally suggesting we don't or can't go back. I don't think

it's realistic for people who spent 25 years or more in one city to

make that permanent decision in one month. Too much emotion

involved right now. I could say I am never going back but if

things looked good when I went down there in a few months I would

want to be down there. They would never ask anyone else that shit

so soon. They keep asking us that question because they want to get

it in your mind that you are not going back so they can buy all of

the property for cheap, fix the levees the right way, and sell it

to outsiders for a big profit. Then they are going to take those

ragged schools you went to and make it look like the ones in the

city you moved to and fell in love with in essence, we are going

to move to Texas and other places and our city is going to be

rebuilt more modern than the cities we moved to.

Tom Benson is go to the most heartless man in the history of

sports. I told a friend of mine the other day that there was no

such thing as a bilinear nice guy and I was right. The least he

could have done was wait until the end of the year and help the

city recover a bit. We all know you can't play in New Orleans but

have some class. I hope San Antonio is happy with your sad, pitiful

team. I have too many other issues to worry about in life than a rich ass old bastard.

Mind Blowin Volume 22

These two pictures are from my childhood neighborhood. I would tell you the streets but there is so much debris I can't make it out.

People are returning home to the Lower Ninth Ward and finding love ones still in houses. It's bad enough we had the worse levees. We also had the worse search and recovery too. A brother can only take so much. Now I know I am glad they didn't let me down there. I didn't want to find mine in the house or witness anyone find theirs.

French Quarter bars are going to defy the curfew.
I think they should because absolutely nothing is going to happen to them if they do. The French Quarter always pimps the city officials. If they want to be open 24 hours they will be. If they want Mardi Gras so a bunch of tourist can come and piss on the streets I should be living on, it will happen. Don't think it was a miracle they never got any water.

If any of my people happen to read this in Texas or any other major city please pay attention. Minimum wage jobs will get you eaten alive in other places. If the large amount of you really mean you are not coming back, please try and better yourselves and get some skills to allow you to make it where you are now. If you don't want to live in New Orleans then you might as well get rid of that lazy New Orleans mentality a lot of you had. There is going to be so many people with that "free handout" mentality that are going to struggle to survive in 2006 or 2007 when the FEMA well runs dry. That New Orleans comfort zone will not be the same for them to run back to. Something really sad is going to come from all this in the long run if our attitudes don't change.

What is with all the people who had good jobs in the city that are leaving to go work at Wal-Mart or Target without officially resigning or trying to find out what happen to their old job. I understand you have to live other places because you have nowhere to stay and you need to do what you have to now. If you find another job comparable or better than the one you had then that's cool but don't just abandon a well paying job to stack boxes. You should at least call your old job and find out what's going on first. The city was flooded but the water is gone and you did have a life before August 29th. The same thing goes for bills, car notes, and house notes too if you had any of those. That stuff didn't just vanish because you got flooded. It makes no sense in ruining your credit and losing property because you are trying to forget everything about New Orleans. Those companies are not going to forget it. My godmother has to find a way to go to the city and retrieve her car. The insurance company said the water was not high enough in that area for the car to have damage so she still has to pay the note. Imagine how many people that haven't contacted their insurance company or lender yet thinking FEMA is going to take care of everything. The government will only do so much for so long and then it's back on us.

Adjustment is Neccessary But I Will Never Have Closure

Well, I guess Mississppi isn't so bad. We have found an apartment right outside of Jackson and have finally told ourselves we will be here for at least six months. The apartment area is nice enough to be relaxed to the point that six months should fly on by. Lots of people I spoke with the first week after Katrina said there was no way they would ever return. I myself said out loud that I wasn't going back. Now it's been a month and a half and I can sense the homesickness in allot of their voices. Now, this doesn't mean that I expect everybody to pack up their new lives and go back to the swamp. That won't happen. What I am saying is that no one will ever get closure from this storm. I thought going home to see my house and the city would give me some closure in knowning everything was gone. It only made matters worse. I am going to give you a few reasons why we will never have closure.
How can you really just walk away and not even be concerned about what's going on. You will always feel the need to see what's going on with the rebuilding and recovery. We all really wanna know if rich people are going to come in and take over our neighborhoods. We all wanna know what it is going to look like and who's going to live where we played in the street. If they do take over the places we called home forever we will all be angry no matter if it's ten months and ten years from now.
We haven't gotten to the roughest part of the year for this even yet. The holiday period between Thanksgiving and Christmas in New Orleans was like a family and class reunion. No matter where we had moved to, that was the time of year to come home and spread love with all your family, classmates and childhood friends. The reason for this is because this is where our grandparents and parents always stayed. Now, they are gone too. This will be the first holiday season in my life that our family didn't spend at 2144 Benton St. That means there will be no chance of closure for anybody until January 2.
The rest of America has never caught on to the culinary wonder that is Pattons hot sausage. I feel like a fiend looking around every grocery store in Mississippi for Pattons or D&D. There won't be any Pattons for awhile since it was under 10ft of water in the Lower Ninth Ward. This is truly dark days for me and my stomach. Even if you never move back, you know you got to go home for at least a hot sausage po boy with cheese.
These other places are cool and normal but New Orleans is different and odd. It's the kind of place you either have a feeling for or you can't live there. My dad always says New Orleans should have been it's own country. If you were born, raised, and have been living in New Orleans more than 20 years that will stick with you forever. There can be no closure because the lifestyle and the attitude of the city is who you are. You can't get closure from yourself. We are all products of Cool Can, Humpty Head, frozen cups, Tamborine and Fan, Wild Magnolias, Soul Rebels, Hot 8, Rebirth, gumbo, red beans on Monday, crawfish boils on Mother's Day, Super Sunday, Claiborne and Orleans on Mardi Gras, Shakesphere Park, Circle Food Store and like my friend Neecha would say " Sitting on the porch talking about nothing". That's who we are. The storm can't kill that. Even turning our shotgun doubles into townhouses can't kill it. It's in your heart and your personality. Don't look for closure. Look for your own personal peace and spirit and adjust to your new life. Trying to get closure from something that is a part of you will only make you sad.

Jesse Jackson busload of workers includes few New Orleanians

I appreciate Jesse trying to help bring some of us home but the fact that he thought he would get all these New Orleanians to go home right now shows how people don't understand the state of mind of the average New Orleans resident. For years we had been beaten down and battered just from everyday life. Katrina was the icing on the cake for most of us. Do I think most people that were born and raised in New Orleans love the city? Yes I do. Do I think anyone is in a real big hurry to go down there right now? No I don't. The reality is that part of the problem we had is that most of the black and white leadership in this country ignored what was going on down there before Katrina and the problems just got worse. Nobody cared. They thought we liked being poor and uneducated. Well, that might be Cash Money and No Limit's fault (Where's Baby at anyway?). Nevertheless , the school system and drug problems were out of control for years and I never saw the Rainbow Coalition, Nation of Islam, the Congressional Black Caucus, T.D. Jakes or Oprah standing in the middle of the Magnolia Projects trying to bring some change. It took a broken levee and grandparents dying to make everybody say "those Negroes need some help". The black community of New Orleans was drowning years before Katrina and no one came to the rescue. We were in it alone, we suffered alone, got flooded alone and we died alone. If it wasn't for CNN and the Coast Guard, we would probably still be on the rooftops waiting for a rescue while everyone else in the country thought we were dancing on Bourbon St. That has never been our reality.

Maybe I am just bitter right now.

The Return Home

I left Jackson Mississippi around 7:30 fully aware of what I was going to see. All the reports from people that had already went back into the city were 100% negative. I wasn't expecting to see positive signs of progress anywhere in my neighborhood. The traffic on I-55 eerily resembled the same scene on August 28 when I left for the storm. There were hundreds of cars piling up on the spillway trying to get back into the city to see what was left of their belongings. The curiosity was building as we rode over Lake Ponchatrain. I kept thinking to myself. This is the body of water that I spent many days sitting out near eating crawfish and lighting the grill. Now, it is the reason(along with whoever designed the levee) that I am living miles apart from all my friends and family. I decided to take the St. Bernard exit from I-610. I figured I would start with the 7th Ward first since most of my family roots can be traced back to this area. Needless to say the smell, condition of the buildings and the realization there are no people living anywhere in the area depressed me and I hadn't even seen any of my family's home. The family home tour was not any better and only made the feelings worst. I went to Elysian Fields St. to pick up my best friend Cedric for emotional support. I found him trying to break a chain of a dog that was tied up in his mother's house and died. That may sound like animal cruelty but no one expected to be gone from their house this long. We took St. Claude street to the bridge to see if they would let me over. St. Claude street between Esplanade and Tupelo St. used to be considered my stomping ground ride back in my glory days. Every other building had damage. We got to the bridge and were greeted by two NOPD officers who told us we couldn't get over without a work pass. I desperately wanted to see my parents and grandparents' house but a part of me was glad they didn't let me over. I really don't want to drive up to my childhood home and realize the National Guard found my grandmother drowned in her home. I thought I was ready to handle that but I wasn't. We continued on towards my former New Orleans East home to see if I could salvage anything. I had been told by my cousin that the water line was chest high so I expected to be able to at least get some items out of the top of my closet in the bedroom or higher up in the den. The first thing you notice about Pine Village when you turn off of Downman is the fact that everything is brown. There are almost no plants or trees still alive. The smell of death, sewerage, and mold can make the strongest person knees buckle. I turned on to my street and noticed of my neighbors home at the same time. We exchanged hellos and all looked around in amazement at what this storm had done. I put on my boots and gloves and walked to my front door over the inches of mud that covered my walkway. Before you get to the door the power of the mold starts to hit you. I noticed a sofa that was on the opposite side of the room had moved to the point that it blocked the front door. I pushed the front door hard enough to move the sofa and looked inside. The first thing I noticed was the 8FT WATERLINE ON THE WALL! That's right I said 8ft. There is no way if I would have stayed anyone in that house would have survived. I had hope to get some personal memory type items and maybe my computer hard drive but all was lost. The only thing I managed to take with me was a basket of pictures that was a few inches from the ceiling and a black and white picture of my mother when she was the first black clerical worker at City Hall. Other than that everything else is gone. It was a pretty surreal experience to make that trip. On the way back I went through the rest of the city and added salt to the wounds of my spirit. The widespread destruction is unbelievable. I actually lived there a month ago. I finally made it to Old Metairie and was jealous of all the people to the west of the 17th Street Canal that were out living their everyday lives. I said to myself that it's just not fair they get to be home with their families and their lifestyle intact while all these other people are trying to make quick adjustments in other places. Even if you wanted to go home right now you couldn't. For lack of a better term, the city is basically a wasteland at the moment. I have to admit that I held up pretty well emotionally until the ride over the spillway to I-55 on the way back to Jackson. The scene of all my people trying to make it back to their new homes and leaving their lives, culture and memories behind was more than I can take. No one will be the same after this whole affair. There will be many of us in safer cities with better jobs and easier living. It will not be a surprise when a lot don't return. Even though the grass may be greener and the roads less bumpy, no one wanted to feel like they didn't even have the option to go back one day. This is the thought that has everyone shaken no matter how nice their new city is. I just hope we take note of what's going on in other parts of the country and demand that our hometown has the same chance to shine. We owe to all of our people who got washed out and died in that catastrophe August 29, 2005.

Telling the Truth about Katrina

I didn't get a chance to post anything for awhile since I have not had a computer so I need to catch up to date with this Katrina bullshit. I'm going to get it all out of the way now and then go forward with the rest of my rebuilt life.

For years we always heard about the big storm that would have a storm surge big enough to top the levee and flood the city. That never happened during Katrina. The damn levees broke. They totally fell apart. Now, I don't want to be one of those conspiracy theorist who think that someone blew up the levee to save the French Quarter, CBD and the Garden District but how in the hell did those levees just fall apart? The 17th St. Canal has the exact same wall on the other side of it protecting Jefferson Parish and that side is standing strong. How come the pressure from the water didn't crash that side? Maybe someone from Jefferson loaded the dynamite.

Honestly I don't believe anyone went out in the storm and placed dynamite by the levee. I do believe that when the levees were being built, someone got together and decided to make certain points around the Ninth Ward and London Avenue a little weaker so if the pressure came in to the canals they would break and keep the lake from flooding out all of the metro area. There is nothing that can be said to make me think any different.

If anyone believes there are only 979 dead in Louisiana they are crazy. That may just be the count for St. Bernard and the Lower Ninth Ward. I think the numbers are being doctored. I wonder what kind of death is being excluded from the count. Are all those people that expired in hospitals because the governor wanted 24 hours to look stupid in her office before she moved in the National Guard count?

Let me make sure I understand........
We can send soldiers to a desert that has no water, food or electricity and turn it into a city in a week but we can't drop food and water on the interstate in America. How can all those people say they didn't know what was going on when we have satellites in the sky that can watch me typing this blog right now. I am not racist but I have to say if this would have happen with majority white victims an entire grocery store would have been airlift in. That comment was not directed at the National Guard, Wildlife people or the Coast Guard. They went into the hood and got our people. I'm talking about the asshole politicians.

I sure hope these ignorant ass negroes don't let a few dollars from FEMA and free rent for a year blind them from the fact that someone decided to destroy their city. It's a damn shame how a few dollars can make a bunch of niggas forget all the injustice done to them. That's why I think the government will take its sweet time rebuilding the city. As long as the coons have a place to sleep and don't have to work, they won't even be worried about New Orleans. Never mind the fact most of our families have been there since Reconstruction. That doesn't matter.
Red Cross gave you a debit card to buy a play station with so it's all good. I bet you St. Bernard Parish won't forget that their entire city was ruined.

AND STOP BUYING JEWELRY AND STUPID SHIT WITH YOUR DISASTER MONEY. Don't you fools realize that every report of that kind of thing makes people think you are trying to get over on everybody. Who's going to call and donate money for you to buy a Gucci bag. Stop it

I know he has another job working with the Urban League now but it's time for Mayor Nagin to call up Marc Morial and get some help dealing with all this stuff. I think Ray is in over his head but any one man would be faced with this kind of thing. I respect the fact you are trying to be strong Ray but its been long enough now for the Republicans running Washington to start backtracking on all the shit they said they were going to do for the city. You are going to need all the help you can get to make sure you get half of that money. Blanco won't help you. She didn't care for you from the start and she used her personal feelings to do a shitty job after the storm. She makes me so glad I voted for Bobby Jindal. She's just what I expected.

Katrina................The Lower Ninth Ward

In 1955, Walter Harris bought a piece of land at 2144 Benton St. He built his house for 5,000 dollars and for the last 50 years that has been the home base for the Harris family. Almost every single holiday of my life has been spent at this home. Now, that house may have been totally destroyed. In 1979 my parents and grandmother bought a brick shotgun double on 5461 St. Claude St. For the last 26 years that house has been my home. No matter where I stayed, the big brick house was always my home. That house sat under 10 ft. of water for two weeks. My childhood neighborhood is gone. I hope when the developers come in and steal all the property they leave it recognizable enough for me to at least show my kids where grandpa's house used to be. Who knows what that area may become. My theory is that the area will become a scrap yard or city landfill. That way when the next great storm comes they can just flood out the ninth ward again and this time there will be no people there like when they flooded it for Katrina. I have no confidence in this area being rebuilt. All I have left are my memories of childhood. Everything else is gone.

Katrina...Where is Geraldine?

I couldn't write anything else about this event until now. The biggest reason is that it is bothering me to no end and I just couldn't do it. Today is October 7th and my grandmother Geraldine Louvier is still missing. Her exact whereabouts during the storm are unknown. I know for sure that if she was in her home at the time the Lower Ninth Ward levee broke, she is gone. There is no need in trying to sugarcoat it. That will be the main lost I have suffered during this whole thing. Nature took away my chance to tell her goodbye without any warning. I am kind of mad at myself for not going get her on my own and bringing her with me before I left that Sunday. I guess I should have known the federal, state, and local government had all spent years neglecting the levees that protected all of us from the water( more on this in a minute). I just hope she didn't suffer too much. The old lady didn't deserve that fate. I'm sure I am not the only person with this kind of feeling running through their heads all day long right now. Families in New Orleans have been shattered, split apart and devastated more than I would have ever thought to see in my lifetime.

Katrina has me down but I am Not Out

I will be back next week!!

Where Do I Begin?

Where do I begin,

It's hard to put into words the thoughts that are going through my mind at this minute. Two weeks ago the only thing on my mind was my tailgate party for the Saints first game. Today I am at square one in life having lost every possession I own in Hurricane Katrina. It's quite a shocking turn of events when you wake up one day and realize that 31 years of life, memories and work are swept away in an instant. My entire family and most of my friends lost everything. I never thought we would all be starting over together at the same time. Who do you lean on? Everyone is in the same situation. If I had to describe what I feel at this moment it would have to be shock, depression and a lost of will. I just wish I knew where my grandmother was right now. The pain I feel inside is compounded by the realization that the government and the rest of the world looks at the people from my hometown as second class citizens not worthy of dignity. The treatment we have received in other cities since this happen has been helpful but also degrading. Don't let the images on TV fool you. On April 28th I had a job, a house, a dog that I loved dearly, and a wonderful circle of friends and family support. I didn't depend on a handout and I really don't want any now but since my life has been washed away in toxic flood water I have no choice. Where do I go from here? Only time will tell. I don't know if I can ever feel truly secure in my own city again. I don't know if the circumstances of how I left will ever allow me to feel like I truly belong anywhere else either. I guess I am in emotional limbo when it comes to my place in this country. I would be lying if I said that New Orleans was the most cleanest, honest, and most rewarding place to live. Some of the things that go on there can take allot out of you mentally. I won't mention the draining humidity and heat and the unwritten racism in the area that almost assures the entire area won't prosper. Even with all that, I have an almost obsessive love for the place that won't die until I do. Call me foolish but I have always waited for the day when things would turn around. I guess that day is near because it can't get much worse than it is now. I don't know what the future holds for me or the Big Easy. I do know that there are some friends and people that I may never see or hear from again because of this storm. Some are deceased and others will be too shaken emotionally to ever come back. The hardcore people like myself will be back one day. I just don't know how you get over something like this. I want one night of sleep without dreaming of something back home and one day where I don't start crying out of the blue. I don't know if that will ever happen again. I hope I find my grandma.

Mind Blowin Volume 20

On Thursday this bloc will be a full year old. I have to say it's been very therapeutic. I can actually look back and examine exactly where my mind was during certain times through the year and it might scare the hell out of me. I have truly been twisted during the past 365 days but I think I handled it pretty good. No one got shot and I didn't overdose so it couldn't have been that bad.

I think today I had the funniest and most black thing to happen to me in a long time. I went to get gas at lunch time and was talking with the lady in front of me about the prices. We both noticed the look on the guys face at the third pump that only had enough to get two dollars of glass in his truck to get to work with. Realizing that I only was saving my extra 1.50 for a cup of coffee, I gave the brother my caffeine money and the young lady did what she could so the man could get enough to drive to work and back. Times are getting rough when black people are being their brother's keeper just to get two gallons of gas. I could almost hear the theme from Good Times playing in the background.


I need to document this so I have it on record for evidence. If my eyes keep getting worse, back continues to hurt and this carpal tunnel syndrome gets to the point where I can barely hold a fork in my hand to feed myself, I am going to sue Yahoo, Black Planet, Microsoft, and Blogger for finding a way to make it a necessity for me to log into a computer somewhere everyday of my life from now on. The internet is sucking the life out of my people skills. No wonder my charisma is getting weak. All I do is type what I have to say all day and rarely talk. Starting next week, I am going to just go hang out at the free clinics, libraries, and DMV and just strike up conversations with strangers all day to get some real conversation. All I need to do is come up with a username and an alias as I'm ready to go.

I hate naming names in the blog when I am about to make fun of somebody. Since I know this person probably will never see this I am going to write it anyway. This is dedicated to my homeboy Louis I saw yesterday for the first time in years. Now I love running into any old friends from my childhood and teenage years and I was happy to see Lou alive and kicking. However, if you are 30 years old and over your identity should be defined by something more recent than your 8th grade football team. As a matter of fact, the following things should give you pride and memories but not be your reason for living.

High School Bands
Flag Girl Teams
Fraternities if you have been out of college more than 10 years
Sororities if you have been out of college more than 10 years
Little League Football
4 H Club
Any group that was called a crew, posse, or mob back in the hood.

If you are still wearing a jacket, hat, or t-shirt for any of these groups and it's not a reunion, you need to re-evaluate your life and find out what's the problem.

Drugs, Apathy, Ignorance, Fear: The New Orleans Murder Problem

If you clicked on the link below or read the headline you know that my beloved city's murder rate is now ten times the national average. While almost every major city's murder rate is falling, ours is going back up. This does not surprise me at all. As I am writing this there are 200+ murders in the city to date. I don't have the accurate count because it probably just changed a few minutes ago. The fact that some researchers fired 700 rounds in the air and it wasn't reported doesn't surprise me either. If you live here and love it like I do, news like this can only depress you. If you are a young black male(the majority of the victims) it can depress you and scare you at the same time. Of course, I am not an expert at these kind of matters but just like I said about the school board, I can't do any worse. Here is what I think the problem is and the solution.
Drugs everywhere
I could be exaggerating but it would not be a hard to believe that a third of the people in this city are on some kind of illegal drug. Drugs have taken over almost every neighborhood in this city. Lots of users equals lots of dealers and lots of dealers equals lots of competition and that's when the violence starts. There are too many adult men in this city that depend on drugs as the way to make a living. Unfortunately, violence is a bi product of that trade and many do what they have to do to survive.
Nameless, Faceless Victims
One of the reasons why the murder rate goes up and it seems like no one notices is the fact that the news coverage of the victims is so passive that no one even realizes what happened. You have to tell the truth about everything in order to bring about change. My daddy always says that when you control the media, you control what everyone sees. Whenever there is a murder in this city that doesn't involve and elderly person, a white person, or a child, it is placed somewhere in the middle of the metro section of the paper or mentioned on the news in passing. Maybe, if we act like someone shot the president when the first murder happened and make that person's life have some meaning we would take notice before the count got overwhelming. Give those young brothers laying in the streets a face like the other victims and see if that changes everybody's outlook on it. They are people too and loved by somebody.
Hopelessness and Ignorance
It's pretty sad that in a country that's spending billions of dollars in Iraq, has school systems in it that are so poor and badly run that kids 9 and 10 years old are basically giving up on life and hitting the streets. These young men simply have nothing in their life that tells them there is hope beyond what's going on around the block. Yes, they are ignorant but they were not born that way. There are no daddies, no opportunities, no education and no self worth. When you have those going on, you will always have a group of people that just don't care. Why should they? In their minds, no one has ever cared about them anyway so killing a man is no big deal.
Doing the Crime but not the Time
There are allot of killers walking around the streets of New Orleans. Many people know who they killed and why. The problem is that while someone may call and report the person, no one will come and testify against them. There are two reasons for this. The first and main reason is that people are scared to testify and the police and DA's office has done a poor job of protecting witnesses. No one really wants their neighborhood to be dangerous and have killers walking the streets preying on everybody. At the same time, no one wants to put themselves or their family in danger so they make the safe decision for themselves and be quiet. I actually think that this wouldn't be as big of a problem if people in this city actually served the time for what they did. There's too many people let out on technicalities or back door deals to think it's worth the risk of testifying only to see the same guy walking up the street six months later because the police had the wrong date on the warrant papers or something minor like that. The second and less talked about reason is something that is totally our fault as a community. We are just too close sometimes to get the heart to turn in somebody. If you have been knowing Ms. Jones for 40 years, you won't be so quick to call the police on Ms. Jones crazy grandchildren as fast as you should. As much damage as they do, we simply don't have the heart to turn in certain people. (Did I just agree with Harry Lee?)
No one really cares
There has always been a carefree charm in New Orleans that draws people here. That same care free charm has manifested itself into apathy as it relates to crime. With all the murders in the last 15 years, I still don't think most people see it as a problem affecting them unless someone they know gets killed. Outside of friends and love ones, we are not really shaken by the news of another killing unless it's a child or the elderly. The reality of it is that in some cases people are happy the victim is dead because more than not they are usually responsible for allot of death and crime themselves.
Sometime else that bugs me is that I watch all these national news shows and read all these magazines and newspapers and I never see all these media hogging black leaders expressing any outrage for the state of a city that is one of if the most predominately black in the nation. I guess we don't have enough money or influence for Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson to come and find out why the school system and murder rate is as bad as they are. I figured out a long time ago that for better or worse the poor and working class of New Orleans is on their own. We got to get it all turned around on our own.

Coming Soon.............Part 2 The Solutions

N.O. murder rate is 10 times national average

WWLTV.com | News for New Orleans, Louisiana | Local News


I will speak my peace on this later.................

triplexgoldteeth.com- Spinning teeth page 1

The day I see someone with this in their mouth is the day I pack up and move to Japan. I will not want to be an African Amercian anymore. I mean the rims are bad enough. Why does being from the hood have to mean you are tacky? You know who they had in mind when they made this junk. The first time the commercial airs during 106 & Park it is all over. Kids all over America will be cutting up their lips and gums trying to make their teeth spin.

Cliff's Tripping

As I sit here looking out at the rain...............

• Family is the most dangerous people when it comes to matters of the heart. Not only can they hurt you more, but you will let it happen over and over.
• My only real regret in life is not going to Tuskegee when I really wanted to go. It bothers me still because the reason I didn't go was fear.
• Nothing pisses me off more than someone or something not being what they have been portraying themselves to be.
• The one thing I wish I could do that I probably never will is play the piano and a guitar. I have no musical ability whatsoever.
• Life is easier to deal with when you realize that some people are so screwed up before your paths cross that it doesn't matter what you do. They will never be happy anyway.
• It doesn't matter what I say or complain about. When it's all said and done, the only reason for me not fulfilling my potential is my laziness and fear of failure. Things would be different with more effort.
• After you have a daughter, strippers in the club make you more sad than they do excited.
• I know it was not good for me to drink everyday and I haven't been but honestly.......Crown Royal taste better than water.
• We have created a culture of excuses that assures the next generation of our children will be totally comfortable with being failures and dependent on us to take care of them.
• People are always talking about eating healthy. I went to the store and all the healthy food cost twice as much as the toxic, poison, and fattening stuff. Good health belongs to the rich. A mother of five working two jobs is not counting carbs when she goes to the store.
• If I was a rapper, my name would be Big Cliff a.k.a The Black Super Hero.
• If I had to choose one profession I think I would be a wrestler and my name would be The Hammer.
• I can't figure out why I keep having these visions of being a child again. When I think about the past I realize that I didn't really like allot of other children as a child and can't stand most of them now.
• Never tell a woman you love her just to get in her pants unless you are prepared to deal with her feelings afterward.
• While I was out playing basketball and ran into someone from my past. I started thinking that as complicated life's journey is, the entire course of it can be changed by something as quick as one missed phone call or forgetting to make one. We spend allot of time thinking about the big decisions in life but the smaller events that we don't pay attention to can change everything.
• No man should ever want a woman to love him just for him in his present form. Every man should want a woman that wants him to recognize his full potential for himself. Anything other than that outlook is a waste of his time and hers.
• Woman pray all the time for the ideal man to come along. When he finally appears they have no idea what to do or how to handle it. They are just as scared of what true commitment means as men are. True commitment means letting go of your own world and creating a dual one with your partner. That is hard for everybody to do.
• I have never cared if I was popular or not. I would much rather kick it with one real comrade than have a bunch of phony ass people around me.
• It is real humbling to realize you are the least educated and least traveled person in your office at work.
• I am ashamed that at 31 years old I have no idea what my credit score is at the moment.
• If you really want to make sure that you will be happy with the person you meet tell them all the negative and aggravating things about you from the beginning and if they still hang around you have a chance.
• If I had to make an apology to all the women I ever dated it would be an apology for all the promises I made to do something, later changing my mind but never letting them know I did.
• Is it wrong that after 31 years I don't carry any guilt for anything I have ever done that might have upset somebody other than myself?
• One of these days my people are going to realize that we have been glorifying and making heroes and sex symbols out of the wrong ideal. The truth of the matter is the weakest man in the world is the thug. The thug is the man that wasn't strong enough to pull himself up so he gave in and did the bidding of the enemy by killing and terrorizing his own people. They have infiltrated neighborhoods the klu klux klan never could have. We have labeled them soldiers when in reality they are just pawns in the big chess game of America used to manipulate and erase the image of the honest black man. The real strength is in the man that gets up everyday and goes to a job he doesn't want to go to. He takes shit off of men that are not his equal. He tries to keep his wife satisfied, his kids clothed and fed and all the time trying to find some dignity in a world where his image is being defined by some fool with his pants by his knees and platinum teeth. Try to that for 75 years without killing somebody and then we can discuss being a soldier.

What the hell do I know about anything anyway. I will keep the rest to myself.

Editorial: Up is Down, Black is White

HipHopSite.Com

At the bottom of this page is an editorial by Pizzo concerning the hip hop rating system. If you like the music then read this editorial. If you don't so what.