The Things I Can't Replace

Now I know I said that I was going to start talking about other things again but this Katrina event has me twisted real bad. I want to start writing about other things again but I never thought there would be one event that change every single thing in my life. I mean it changed everything. I have to keep talking about it because everything I do and see is effected by it. With that being said, I lost allot of material things in this storm. Most of them like my car, furniture and pool table I can replace. There are some other things I can't put a price on. Things that I either acquired over time out of love or were given to me do not have a price tag on them.

* The box from the hospital after losing my first baby.

I wanted to get that box when I went home real bad. I never look it in or touch it but that was a way of acknowledging her. The nurses and doctors at Touro Hospital were so friendly and professional that they made one of the worst moments of life allot easier to deal with.

* My Angel painting.

Right around the time of the baby's passing, I was at a gas station about to go in and buy me a drink when a man with two little twin girls came up to me. He told me they were his grandchildren and were hungry. He was trying to get some money for them by selling these hand drawn pictures he had made. He offered me a picture of this little angel. The eyes on the picture looked straight at you. I gave him the twenty dollars I was spending on the bottle and hung the picture up on my wall. It had been there ever since.

* My Video Tape Collection
What made my video tape collection special to me was the fact that I had been making the tapes since I was 14 years old(the first time we had a VCR). There were two categories. There was my wrestling tapes which were mostly hand made from shows I had watched and recorded whenever they would come on TV. There were about 50 of them. Then there were about 20 tapes of all kinds of television events and videos that I may not be able to buy or will come on again. One of my short term goals was to buy myself one of those VHS/DVD recorders and transfer them all to disc to protect them from wearing out. I never got the chance. I don't think I will be able to get back the WYLD talent show performance with my friend Joe's group or the recording of myself on television.

* Source Magazines 1992-1997

Between 1991 and 1997 I was totally into the culture. I discovered the Source magazine at Tower Records and after that for 5 years straight I was there the first Tuesday of every month to get the new edition. These were the years before they lost all relevance. I didn't buy them like I used to but since I am such a nostalgic guy and believe in having mementos around, I kept these in mint condition on my shelf. I was going to see how many years I could keep them. I wanted to show them to my kids when they were older to show them how real the music and the culture used to be for some people. By the way, just because the storm came doesn't mean I didn't notice they gave Lil Kim five mics either. What was up with that?

* My Vinyl Albums
Once again, I am a old school and nostalgic guy. I also love the sound of old records. One of the things I was proud to have was my album collection. The biggest reason is that I didn't pay for one single album. All the albums I had were either found somewhere or were given to me by my godmother, parents or my auntie Lenell. I had been looking at some of these albums since a little boy hoping one day they would be mine. I finally got them all and then they went swimming. I know I can't I can't put a price on any of these. I was just about to go and start the hustling process to get the ones from my auntie Anna.

* Letters, Cards, and Pictures

This is probably the most personal and irreplaceable thing. I kept every birthday, Valentine's Day and all kinds of other items like this. I guess you can tell by now that I hardly threw anything away. A few items I definitely would have brought with me if I knew this was coming. I would have brought the pictures of all my deceased high school friends with me. I would have bought the Christmas cards given to me by Kendra and Nicole in high school because they were a surprise to me. They were hand written notes inside of them. I definitely would have taken the birthday card my sister Michelle gave to me this year. She made it and wrote the words herself. It choked me up beyond belief. I can never get any of these things back.

It's losing stuff like this that gives me mixed emotions about going back home sometimes. The fact of the matter is that besides the few pictures I salvaged and what was in my wallet there is nothing from the first 30 years of my life. That's the hardest part about rebuilding. You can replace wood, brick and furniture. You can't replace my deceased Aunt's tea kettle I had or the only picture Tara had of her grandmother that used to sit near the fish tank. I could go on and on about things like this. You can't file an insurance claim for that type of stuff. Those items had unlimited value even if it was only to the person that had it.

Before I write anything else I have to send a shout out to the Mrs. Harris that keeps leaving me those wonderful comments. I want to say thanks and I finally realized that you were not my mama acting like a stranger. :-)