Cliff's Crib

So I got a letter in the mail telling me that my baby is a low number that is not divisible by two in the lottery for one of our many charter school groups in New Orleans. Since everyone is scrambling to find a place for their children in a few schools, I won’t put the actual number she is because I can’t afford to hire security to protect her safety. Might be some poor baby right outside of the magic number with an over zealous parent.

I am glad she got into this one because I had to spend money on the second option and there was no clear third option. This school is supposed to be really good for a public school. I am still doing what research I can.I think my registration trouble is over but looking at the big picture I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. All I can come up with is questions.

What about all the kids that don’t get into the school their parents have selected? How come I don’t know where my district school is if I had to send her there? Do I have a district school? Do we still have districts? If you have more than one child and they don’t get in the same school after the lottery, what kind of pain in the ass is it if their schools are miles apart? How much time and gas does that cost? How come we have schools advertising on the back of city buses like they are small claim attorneys? When is the local news going to mention this like they do the crime problem? Doesn’t this situation assure that we will still have a crime problem for a long time? Why isn’t our city council making more noise about getting back local control of the school system? Why isn’t Austin Badon’s bill to give all the kids in the city a chance for a scholarship to pay to go where they want a bigger story? Am I the only person who realizes his bill is a direct statement about the state of public schools? Don’t try to answer all of that because it will give you a headache.

At the risk of making the counter argument against my own blog, New Orleans schools have been a wreck for a really long time. Some of us manage to still make it through all of that to live productive lives. Just because it’s obvious that the odds are stacked against these kids doesn’t mean that we can make it alright for them to not give the total effort. That means I shouldn’t see these kids waiting for the bus in the morning without a pencil or a notepad. They are not prepared to learn anything. If my kids were going to a school with one window, no air conditioning and the entire class had to share one book, I would be mad. I would be angry. I would do whatever it took to get that fixed but when my kids left my house they would know that I am laying the smack down on anyone who doesn’t give their best. When it’s all said and done no one is going to pay your bills and buy your groceries because you went to a Recovery District School instead of a KIPP charter school. Circumstances suck sometimes but you have to deal with them anyway.

That’s my opinion as I sit here dreaming of causing an uprising at my first PTA meeting in my Clark alumni t-shirt.

During my lifetime I have experienced different levels of being broke. Growing up I had close family broke. I have been through "lay off broke", "minimum wage broke", and "theft broke". There’s "too much fun broke", "lack of self control broke", and "too many girlfriends broke". The one thing all these conditions have in common for me is that they are easy to accept mentally and deal with. They are either caused by something you can’t control or something that was so fun you don’t mind the lack of money. The one state of broke that torments me is “almost have enough broke”. This is the condition where you are not broke enough to feel broke but never seem to have any extra money to do things. Every week it seems like some little situation or unknown expense comes up and knocks everything out of wack. It could be something as small as a flat tire or forgotten balance on a traffic ticket. Whatever happens breaks your routine just enough that it takes weeks to get back on track.

There is the aggravating realization that if you could just get five hundred dollars of windfall money you could put everything back in order again and relieve the stress. Of course that money never comes so you end up taking a bit from here and a bit from there and juggling as many payments as you can. You don’t want anything to be totally behind but nothing is totally caught up either. After awhile you realize that unless someone makes a mistake in payroll things are not going to change anytime soon. Crazy thoughts start popping into your head like “If I would have went to class for one more semester I would be making enough not to have this problem”.

Thank goodness our president and the inept Congress messed up the economy so bad that they felt guilty enough to give everyone a stimulus check. I have never been the type of brother to depend on the government for anything. I work for mine. That’s why last week I felt like such a loser for checking my bank account every twenty minutes to see if my money came in. I had calculated that money. It was going to get me back on track and make Mother’s Day better ( That shows you how stupid the government is. Everyone should have gotten their checks before Mother’s Day. Everybody would have spent a little extra on a mama somewhere).

That damn check never came last week! Due to the service I used to file my taxes my check won’t come until a month from now. If it comes then that’s fine. If it doesn’t I will make it alright. I come from a long line of brothers that never get free money. It’s one of the reasons that if the next hurricane comes through like Katrina did, I will be one of the few brothers that can still file a FEMA claim. The other thing is that the last week has seen some of the worst disasters in world history. I guess when I pull up to get my 3.60 gallon of gas I will think that I could be in Myanmar with some assholes called Junta holding back my food and water.

I know that's the right perspective to have but damn...

This is a musical interlude. Please enjoy the sounds of Talib Kweli 's Hostile Gospel

I have a blog friend who exchanges emails with me throughout the week, He will remain nameless because he already thinks everything he asks me about is racist (they are not) and I don’t want to put him on blast without his permission. He asked my why don’t more black bloggers speak out on murder in their community. I have been thinking of how to answer him. I could have just given him links to the dozens of blogs I have written about the topic but I am just one guy from New Orleans. Personally, I don’t know what else to say anymore. I could only come up with one conclusion. We don’t know what the hell to do about it.

I was reading The Book's site this week as he recounted all his former classmates and friends that were involved in some of the major murder stories in New Orleans recently. People in New Orleans think that somehow this is a problem that is confined to their city. The Field Negro keeps a running count of the murder rate in Philadelphia. The last count is 101. The First 48 show on A&E follows murder cases in a host of cities like Dallas, Cincinnati, Miami, Memphis, Kansas City, etc. The victims and the accused usually all look the same, black and brown men.

We have this situation today where we have more opportunity to succeed than any other time. There is a significant black middle class who really want to move past the hood mentality. We want to redefine the agenda and the outlook of our race in spite of how many people still struggling and dying. If we can do it then they can too. We might even have a black president who's approach reflects that promise of moving forward. All of that is wonderful but as long as the lives of our young people are not worth fighting for with the same vigor we have behind getting people like Don Imus off the air or calling people like Tavis Smiley sellouts for criticizing Obama we all have a burden to carry. No other group in this country has came to a comfortable level of violence against one another like we have. We romanticize it and legitimize it so much that even though there are millions of us that have never committed a crime there is a strange heroic reverence for people who do. That baffles me as I sing the words to my favorite Lil Wayne song.

Before you think I am trying to throw stones I am not. I have a few songs on my mp3 that brag about the ability to take another brother out. Last week, when I read the story of those guys that kicked in that door on Laharpe St. and shot those three people, the first thing I thought about was “well, at least they didn’t shoot the baby. Had they shot the baby too, we would have been outraged because the baby is not part of the game. Since they let the baby live, there is part of us that considers that kind of event part of the life those folks choose to live. The question is how can that be ok when the folks in question are our family, friends, classmates, and neighbors. How can we be so close together and have that big of a gap in our mentality? Maybe we are closer in mentality than we can admit in public without looking sad. Sad is how I feel when I can’t make sense of it.

New Orleans is the world capital for jacked up circumstances.

Last night I was sitting at my favorite spot celebrating Chris Paul, David West and the rest of the Hornets absolute ass kicking of the Dallas Mavericks for our first NBA playoff series win ever. It was even sweeter that we beat a Texas team for it. I was starting to plan my budget for season tickets next year.

So what happens today?

One of our favorite native sons Avery Johnson gets fired. We can never just celebrate without a hint of bad news in it. Of all the coaches we could have beat bad enough to get them fired it had to be him.

They shouldn’t have fired Avery. It’s not his fault he’s got a weed head small forward and a big German who falls down and slides 20 feet if someone touches his finger. Now I got to hope another coach gets fired so Avery can get another job.

I told someone I wasn’t going to write about this Obama/Jeremiah Wright thing. I got something else on my mind more serious than that. I was prepared to let it go but after watching a few hours of news shows I have to get a few things off my chest.

First off let me say I am not really into this presidential race anymore until the primary is over because I am tired of hearing the same old thing. I can say this however; this whole Jeremiah Wright thing is ridiculous to me. I am not Obama’s speech writer. If I was at the moment I would simply say the following. Anyone who judges my whole agenda based on something my pastor says is racist. If you want to know why I think it’s racist I will tell you why. The whole premise behind the Reverend Wright story is that because Barak Obama went to his church he automatically believes and follows the same agenda as Reverend Wright like he’s some kind of clone in a cult even though he has said repeatedly that he denounces the statements that keep getting played over and over again. If you want to accept that then fine.

Hillary Clinton has been married to Bill Clinton for almost her entire life. To me that is a closer relationship than Obama and Reverend Wright have. Bill Clinton had oral sex performed on him in the White House during work hours. By the same standards you are holding Barak Obama to for Reverend Wright, I can assume that if Hillary wins the nomination and becomes president, some young male intern will be under her desk a few times a week. Doesn’t that sound stupid to you? Of course it sounds stupid. It sounds stupid because no one is judging Hillary solely on the actions of her life partner yet Barak Obama is getting judged based on a man that’s not even his blood relative. That’s a double standard and I know he can’t say it because that kind of truth will only piss off certain people more.

Now that I have out of the way I want to address Mr. Obama’s approach to this whole thing. Although I have no bigger heroes in life than my dad and my grandfather, I realize that I live in a different time with different circumstances and I am around a different and diverse group of people. I have the same core principles of how to behave but there is no way I could have the exact same outlook as my grandfather who went through The Great Depression, World War II and Jim Crow or my dad who went to Vietnam and grew up in the South through the Civil Rights Movement.

I like to think of myself as the evolution of the Harris man. I would hope my teenage brother or one of my nephews or my son would evolve in thinking beyond where I am. I can understand how Barak Obama can have aspects of his life that were guided by Reverend Wright’s council but not see the world the exact same way. However, I would never ever denounce or apologize for anything those men said out of respect for what they went through in life. That‘s why Reverend Wright came back. This is not about Obama. This is about people trying to minimize his life and years of service to his community. Most older black men base their attitudes about people and life on things they seen or went through. Most of them keep that agenda and it’s probably because they look around and don’t really see a big difference in their eyes.

I may not have the same vision or approach but I respect theirs because I know how they got it. You may not believe this but if I was on the job interview of a lifetime and someone pulled out a tape of my daddy or a man in my life I respected on that level that sounded angry and asked me to denounce it my response would be “well, I guess he was angry that day” then I would get up and leave. No job is worth minimizing the life and struggles of your people, not even the presidency. If it wasn’t for the strength to get through those struggles then we wouldn’t be at this moment with Obama having a chance to win. Plus, I don’t know what hood you drive through or live in but most of the stuff Reverend Wright talks about are very current events. I know some people won’t agree with me and that’s fine. If calling your grandmother and grandfather angry and delusional gets you a promotion then go for it. I’m not doing it and neither should Barak. He shouldn’t have to because he’s an American and if he is the most qualified then he shouldn’t have to get rid of everyone in his life that white America isn’t comfortable with to win.

If Hillary doesn’t have to hold a press conference to promise she will never get a young intern to fool around with at her desk then Barak shouldn’t have to keep reassuring everyone he loves America every other day.

Many people will say that the race for the Democratic nomination is still dragging along because Barak Obama is having trouble putting Hillary Clinton away.

Some people will argue that it’s still going on because Hillary Clinton won’t accept defeat and is refusing to back out of the race.

I say that this race is still going on because the Democrats are stupid. If you had a winner take all system like the Republicans Obama would have been the nominee after winning twelve in a row. This is why you guys can’t win big elections. You are always trying to play both sides. How did Hillary get all those delegates if she lost so much? Conversely, how did she win a big ass state like Texas and not even shrink Obama’s lead? The candidates are not the problem. This dumb process is.

This is why you couldn’t vote to start the end of the war. You are too worried about making everyone happy. Sometimes leadership has to make a decision and let a few people be upset. George Bush has been getting away with it for 8 years. His approval rating might be low because his decisions have failed terribly but you never hear anyone say how they wish he was trying to make everyone happy. If people think you are going to play both sides of the fence they are going to think you are weak and McCain is going to be president. He’s going to have another month off riding around on the straight talk express and these two will still be fussing even though they agree on almost every issue.

Make up your minds already. Call a meeting with the super delegates. Play rock, paper, scissors. Just get it over with.

I meet allot of different people from all over the city through my job. When people in New Orleans meet for the first time these days, they introduce themselves and share their Pre-Katrina status. No one seems to be in the same place during the same thing. Last week there was a lady in one of my trainings that happens to go to my grandmother’s old church in the Lower Ninth Ward. She is a transplant who moved here after the storm to help people and she just joined the church recently. I gave her my grandmother’s name and ever since then she’s been sending me emails to come to service one weekend and talk to some of the people over there. I will not be going to any of the services. I hope I don’t like a jerk for saying that but I have a rare condition called Bad Katrina News Syndrome. I just made that up so none of you therapist better not steal my name. I have two parents, two sisters, and two brothers. We all lived in the same house for more than 25 years. My grandmother lived next door. Out of those eight people I am the only one back in the city. Do you know what it’s like to replay this story over and over again every time I see someone that knows one of them? “How’s your mama?” “How’s your daddy?” “What happened to your grandma?” “Where’s your brother?” “What are you going to do with the house?”. It happens all the time. I remember when I used to go check on the house. Whenever I would go down there it would take less than a minute for someone to drive up asking questions. My cousin Veronica found me on the internet and asked about everybody. It took me two weeks to reply to her email. I get so tired of doing it that sometimes I see friends of theirs and purposely go the other way or turn my head so they won’t see me and I have to get into the story all over again. It’s not the people fault. They are just being concerned. It’s not my family’s fault either. I guess that’s what happens when you are the only dummy to move back down here. At least if I was out of town and people ask me I could chalk it up to being nosey and cuss them out. I can’t do that to my distance cousins that find me on the internet. I can’t do that to those old ladies that used to stand at the bus stop with my grandma or one of my mama ex-coworkers. Oh well, I guess I should do like the rest of these folks around me who didn’t really lose anything but material items and act like everything is cool again. Maybe the next time someone asks me how my grandmother is doing I will show them a picture of my new bathroom. At least I won’t have to look at the sad look on their face when I tell them what happened. I’m not tripping about it. This is nothing to a soldier. This is all part of my everyday routine these days.

It was a rough weekend and it’s been a rough week so far. The primary reason is that I can’t shake this cough. I missed both of the festivals this weekend. The other reason is that ever since someone stole my bankcard and went on a shopping spree my financial clock is off and it seems little things keep happening to keep me broke. I am flying on American Airlines Monday and I can’t find the inspection report on the plane I am flying on. Gas is 3.22 in New Orleans and people were wearing jackets this morning in mid-April. Last but not least, I can’t figure out what is making my face break out like I am 12 years old again and the fact I am obsessing over it so much is making me depressed. I guess I shouldn’t sound like that. The new season of Deadliest Catch started tonight. Plus, my oldest friend Big G just got his vocational degree and worked his way from the street life and trouble. That overrides all of that. Too bad I am about to kill that heartwarming story with this other foolishness.

The more Bob Johnson from talks the more I am starting to wonder if Mrs. Johnson was the real reason he made all of that money.

I have a question for the FBI. When are we going to see some local white politicians arrested for corruption? Look, I don’t feel sorry for Derrick Sheppard just like I didn’t feel sorry for Oliver Thomas. The amount of money between both of their cases isn’t twenty thousand dollars. We are lacking too many things and have missed too many opportunities for this kind of thing to have started with Pampy. White people in this city control too much money to not get some of the under the table money too. Speaking of Pampy, whatever happened to the money he delivered to Una Anderson’s husband when she was on the school board? I read that in the Times Picayune so I know it’s true.

Brothers, it’s time to stop looking so pissed off. I went to Wal-Mart this weekend and every cat in there was looking at me like I am the one who shot their cousin. I know we live in a rough city but did you ever stop to think we might be making it rougher by always looking to kick the next brother’s ass? Besides, most of the guys who look all angry were walking with women that had three shopping carts full of groceries. If I had enough money these days to buy one full basket I would not only be smiling. I would be doing the running man in the check out aisle.

Sisters, you know there is nothing in this world I adore more than you. Please forgive me. I am buying a taser. The next time I see one of you with a shirt that’s too small, your belly hanging over your pants and a rag on your head in public, someone is receiving voltage. I will set it to low so you won’t get hurt but someone has to stop this. There is a difference between a head wrap and a damn rag. If you just refuse to take a few minutes to comb your hair before you head out, do your kids a favor and leave them at home. There was a girl in Wal-Mart with a smedium sized yellow shirt and matching yellow rag on her head. If her two sons were tall enough to see over the steering wheel they would have left her in there.

I hope this doesn’t sound prejudice. I am just curious. We have thousands of migrant workers here in the city. I have no problem with that at all because we have too much work available and I don’t expect a bunch of Americans to show up all of a sudden to fill all those positions. The question I have is this. Where do they learn all these special skills. How did a 20 year old Mexican man who has spent two years trying to get established in America have time to learn how to wire an entire house? When they have the time to learn home elevation, plumbing, plus a/c and heating repair? How did the entire town learn to do drywall? I went to school in America my whole life and no one taught us shit. We need to send the brothers to Mexico for training so they can come back and find a job.

This is not an endorsement but the longer this presidential election goes along the more and more I am convinced that Barak Obama will be the next president. The man is truly special. How else can you explain a brother that can make a white woman cry, have a radical black pastor and not denounce him, call his white grandma a bigot and call Republicans bitter people who cling to guns, the bible and hate of others yet still be ahead or close in every poll. A man who can get away with this in American politics can surely get the Sunni and Shiite talking.

This video is dedicated to Big G for his graduation. How come we never got our full Wu Tang concert in New Orleans?