Thursday, June 18, 2009

Is It October Yet

Why is it so hot outside?


It’s now official. The summertime sucks. Remember when you were little and couldn’t wait for the summer to come so you could go outside and play all day instead of sitting in class? Well, those days are over for me and I can’t stand this heat anymore. I was driving a friend to the airport this morning and we determined that this is now the worst time of year. Gas prices are going up every 15 minutes. I had been filling up on twenty bucks as early as April. Now it’s taking forty to get close to the “F”. Pass all the stimulus packages you want to. Americans have low morale after leaving the gas station. I can’t stop sweating because it feels like its 148 degrees outside so I have to wear two shirts so people won’t think I have some kind of illness. I’m carrying around this handkerchief and I keep wiping the sweat from my head like an old black preacher. Everyone’s attitude seems to be a little worse than usual when you are out in the public. Plus, there are too many people wearing ugly sunshades that are supposed to be cool because they cost a lot of money. There’s no football on television and the major sport is boring ass baseball. Then there is the yard work to do and the constant cutting of the grass once it starts raining. It is hurricane season so every night I check out the weather and make sure that I don’t have to start tripping. If that isn’t bad enough, everyone thinks they have to do stuff on the weekends in spite of the heat wave so people keep inviting me to stuff I am not going to attend without air conditioning. They can think I am being anti-social and that’s fine. I’m trying to conserve gas and sweat glands. The bottom line is that if you are over 17 years old you should be waiting for October to roll around.


Technically it’s not even summer yet……..DAMN!

7 comments:

Leigh C. said...

The sunglasses have gotten so damn huge, it's kinda like the banner in the book "Dixieland Delight" that some guys at LSU hung up to get the girls to quit wearin' 'em:

"HEY GIRLS! KIM JONG-IL STOLE YOUR SUNGLASSES"

Don't know if associating them with a Korean dictator has worked yet.

sussah said...

I love to sit outside but it makes me dizzy and the brightness brings me to the edge of migraine. So I should get some of those ugly sunglasses. sp, n.o.

K. said...

Pretty hot! To show how old I am, I saw Third World when "96" was a new song! Inner Circle and Toots & The Maytals were on the same bill.

Speaking as someone who grew up on the Gulf Coast, it's unreal to me 20 years after moving to the Pacific Northwest that there's a place where August is the best month of the year. I kid you not.

Cliff, I'm going work on you re baseball!

Word Verification: phallyst

Jenny said...

Sometimes I think that God created summer just for teachers. I'm looking forward to resting.

I hope you have some great memories this summer.

celcus said...

Well said.

And Louis Armstrong used to mop his brow with a handkerchief, which is a little better image than an old black Preacher

Cedric said...

I know right. I work in the heat and my wife keeps wondering why I'm always talking about quitting.

K. said...

Jenny: When I was in school, it was an article of faith that teacher's hated summer, hated giving kids the time off, and would do anything to keep us in school until the last possible second. Possibly a reaction to the nuns, most of who really did seem to dislike children.