Why is it so hot outside?
It’s now official. The summertime sucks. Remember when you were little and couldn’t wait for the summer to come so you could go outside and play all day instead of sitting in class? Well, those days are over for me and I can’t stand this heat anymore. I was driving a friend to the airport this morning and we determined that this is now the worst time of year. Gas prices are going up every 15 minutes. I had been filling up on twenty bucks as early as April. Now it’s taking forty to get close to the “F”. Pass all the stimulus packages you want to. Americans have low morale after leaving the gas station. I can’t stop sweating because it feels like its 148 degrees outside so I have to wear two shirts so people won’t think I have some kind of illness. I’m carrying around this handkerchief and I keep wiping the sweat from my head like an old black preacher. Everyone’s attitude seems to be a little worse than usual when you are out in the public. Plus, there are too many people wearing ugly sunshades that are supposed to be cool because they cost a lot of money. There’s no football on television and the major sport is boring ass baseball. Then there is the yard work to do and the constant cutting of the grass once it starts raining. It is hurricane season so every night I check out the weather and make sure that I don’t have to start tripping. If that isn’t bad enough, everyone thinks they have to do stuff on the weekends in spite of the heat wave so people keep inviting me to stuff I am not going to attend without air conditioning. They can think I am being anti-social and that’s fine. I’m trying to conserve gas and sweat glands. The bottom line is that if you are over 17 years old you should be waiting for October to roll around.
Technically it’s not even summer yet……..DAMN!