According to an article on the front page of the Times Picayune this morning, men in New Orleans have one of the lowest life expectancies in the country. We needed one more thing to worry about. I guess if we need a silver lining we can take pride in the fact that we don’t have the lowest life expectancy. That title goes to Holmes County, Mississippi. I don’t know what’s going on around there but I won’t be heading that way if we have to evacuate for a storm. I got enough trouble.
While we are living to an average of 68 years our women are living to an average of 79 years old. That means that not only will we only get to enjoy a few years of retirement but our women will be using the rest of our money to have fun and meet guys who are still living at bingo games. This might be the first thing that makes me support raising the retirement age to 70.
If they raise it and the averages hold up I can probably work until I pass out from a combination of stress, pickled pork, brown liquor and Zatarain’s Crab Boil seasoning. I’ll be headed to the big BBQ in the sky with all my boys who didn’t go to the doctor. It’s sad to admit but we don’t really start cutting back on things until they have already made us sick. If we cut back a little and pay more attention I know we can add at two years on the average and get us up to 70.
There will never be a more authentic New Orleans man as my grandfather was. He was made of this city in and out and he lived to be 89. It’s not like he was a health nut or anything either because in his heyday because his close friends and associates called him “Heavy”. I think if was still here now and I asked him about this article he would probably say that to way to live a long time is to try and relax as much as you can when you are not working, start going to the doctor for checkups or when things don’t feel right, and by all means avoid being hit by bullets.
I think if we start going to the doctor and being more responsible while the youngsters avoid bullets and start living longer we can push our average to 75 and actually be around to enjoy our retirement. If we just keep eating and drinking everything without moderation and the bullets keep flying we will be giving Holmes County a run for the top spot and once again be at the wrong end of another list.