Monday, December 15, 2008

Sitting On My Porch Part Nineteen.....The Egg Nog Addition

I’m trying to get into this holiday spirit and have a good time but it’s hard. A family member of a close friend of mine passed away in an incident within his control and I keep trying to figure out why young black people find so much reverence in dying for senseless things. I just kept thinking about selfish for a man to put his life in harms way when he has a family to take care of. I know the sisters are strong but they are really not supposed to be putting in 18 years of raising children alone. Some of us have to grow old and live regular lives. Sooner or later black people have to take this young death as serious as getting a black president……Yes, I said it!

I spent over 20 years watching my grandpa make that damn homemade egg nog in the kitchen on New Years Eve and not once did I ask for the recipe. That sucks. I refuse to use another recipe.

If they were giving out awards for Christmas lights in my neighborhood I wouldn’t get a certificate of participation for as ugly as mine are. I feel like going out there right now and pull them all down. It’s embarrassing.

Someone threw his shoes at our stressed out president and people thought it was funny. I was scared. Do you really want to push this man over the edge with all the stuff going on now? You know he’s about to snap because when he ducked the shoes and looked back up he had the same disturbed grin on his face as my boy Rodney who grew up in a project apartment with led paint.

Do black people play Guitar Hero? I might buy it if they had a funk option on there and I could play bass like Bootsy Collins.

New Orleans East now has two new buffets and a Waffle House. Our restaurant scene is booming!!

Is there anything worse than the secret Santa at work? The worst person in the world is the one that goes out and buys those scented shower kits that Wal Mart puts in that holiday aisle with no consideration for male employees who might pull that gift. I would rather get the cinnamon scented candle than the cucumber and lilac flavored shower gel and body powder.

Speaking of Wal Mart…since everyone is losing money and jobs except for them, shouldn’t we put them in charge of the economic crisis? The only drawback to this would be everywhere you went there would be someone at the door to check your receipt.

How crazy is it that one guy on Wall Street scammed people for twice the amount of the auto industry bailout? It’s amazing what you can get away with when you are smart and have lots of money. You can steal whatever you like. Meanwhile everyone’s acting like the auto workers are destroying the country because they make too much. Has anyone looked around Detroit lately?

I totally understand Senator David Vitter’s opposition to the auto bailout. After all, like the other southern senators he has to protect the investment Toyota, Nissan, and Honda made in his distr……..never mind. That was written after my last glass of egg nog was spiked too heavy.

My first prediction of 2009: After the mayor and city council drive every sanitation company out of the city the citizens of New Orleans will be force to burn their own trash in BBQ pits and 55 gallon drums changing our nickname from Chocolate City to The Big Stank.

The state and the city are both having budget problems. All I ask is that when you get ready to kick the programs that help the black community in the ass you wear soft shoes.

The Roots are having a free concert at the main library next Saturday (thanks E.) It’s my last chance to see them before they become Jimmy Fallon’s house band and lose the entire cult following they built up over the years. The first time they have to play Pop Goes the Weasel when Jimmy Fallon introduces the 10 year old boy that can do Calculus will be a crossroads day for me. At least I have the old material to fall back on.

2 comments:

Leigh C. said...

Jimmy Fallon's house band??? The world IS coming to an end!

And Bush just kept blithely going on, pooh-poohing the cultural ramifications of that act. They shoulda thrown a Katrina fridge at that man.

judyb said...

I love when you sit on your porch.