Saturday, September 29, 2007

Love Thy Neighbor


Business travel sure isn’t like it is on the commercials. It’s boring. You don’t get to sleep late because the itinerary starts at 8:00 AM and then when it’s over you have to act like you want to socialize with these people just because you are at the same conference. Needless to say when you get home all you want is peace and quiet. I have been on two trips in the last two weeks and every time I get home my neighbor’s wife is tripping. We have been living next door to one another for years and never had a problem. Now, she has been home from Houston for a month and is losing her damn mind. See, there is a FEMA trailer in front of my home. When the assholes installed it they placed in a position that blocks half of my driveway. For the last year everyone has been pulling in at the front of my neighbor’s driveway and turning into mine. The other day I drove up tired as hell and when I got ready to turn in I noticed a damn barricade made of cinder blocks closing off the open part of the driveway. Before anyone thinks we were just using their space while they were not there, her husband has been home for a year and we have all been living in harmony with no trouble. We even feed the man from time to time like a member of the family. I asked the crazy woman if she was having a problem with people pulling into the driveway when I wasn’t home and she blew me off! I have never had a problem with this woman before and I don’t want to have one now. We already have a problem in our community with unnecessary conflict. I left the barricade there and parked in the street but the more I think about it the madder I get.

Everyone in this neighborhood had the same damn flood water. There are lots of people who haven’t been able to get back or just got back recently. You ain’t the only angry stressed out person around here. You should have kept your ugly, angry ass in Houston if you didn’t want to deal with things. She doesn’t understand that I am a peaceful man by nature and I can’t stand the kind of ignorant drama that causes violence and separation in our community. She didn’t have to disrespect me when I was being respectful to her. What she doesn’t know is that I had an energy bill that was higher than my car note, and that Wednesday would have been my grandmother’s 74th birthday and that I miss my dog, and my windshield crack is starting to spread, and that I have sat through two weeks worth of seminars and boring conversation and my ears have yet to pop back in place after getting off of the airplane and the Saints are 0-3 and Drew Brees sucks at the moment. When you add all that up, it makes me want to do something to get revenge. I don’t want to hurt her or any of her family. I just want to do something dumb like let all of the propane out of the trailer tanks or fill the drain pipe with old socks so the next time she flushes the toilet it erupts under her. That would give me a good laugh for about an hour but it wouldn’t change the fact that there are people like this all throughout the city and no matter how good the intentions are of most people here there will always be this negative, miserable, close minded group that will suck the spirit out of everybody by doing things that make no sense. It’s people like you that make people like me load up the U-Haul and get my ass out of here.

7 comments:

Maitri said...

*hug*

dloye said...

Damb, at least you're hysterically funny when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Guess that's better than being where your neighbor's wife is!

Yup, we're all sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Btw, shouldn't we all just start teleconferencing, and skip the sardines in the sky and airport hassles? It's green too. Just stay home!

Leigh C. said...

I hear you. Big (hug) from me, too. Some days, life just sucks and then somebody piles on the straw that knocks you on your rear.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Cliff:

Don't let that woman get to you. You have been through enough without that woman adding to it. I might have to take a trip down there and straighten out that old cow. When I finish with her that trailer would be pointed back the Houston way. That's probably why the husband left. She has a lot of issues.

No one messes with my baby. Give her my telephone number. You have been through enough without that woman adding to it.

Love,
Mama

P.S.
Call

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!! LOL!!!! come on man, tha socks thing sounds good to me big brotha....but just like u would tell me, that aint gonna solve nothin'....pray for her bruh, thas all u can do....hollla

BigCheze said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Tha socks thing would be funny as hell though....but like u would tell me, what would that solve?....just pray for her man, thas all u can do.....


love u always....

Neecha said...

This is not a game, This is ride or die for real! Say the word...All you gotta do is say the word and I'm on it!