On the way to work this morning I was listening to the Home Team Morning Show on 102.9. They were discussing Kelder Summer's decision to share her diaries and pictures with her new husband. All the men on the show were trying to tell her this was not a good idea. Since I haven't been called yet for my radio hosting spot, I only have this blog to issue my opinion.
I personally think that the worse kind of relationships are ones were the two people are friends first. Let me explain why. When a man and woman are friends, they start talking about their past allot. The closer that they get the more they share. Somewhere along the way things change and they start liking one another differently. Now, if a relationship starts from this friendship, don't think for one minute that you won't remember everything they have told you about the past. If you start dating a woman and she has already told you how she used to cook for her ex and serve him breakfast in bed, how are you going to feel when you can't even get her to pour the milk over your cereal? Ladies, if a man shows you pictures of he and his ex on vacation and doing all these fun things, you are going to be really pissed when after a few months the only place you have been is to the movies and the only trip you have taken is to the shelter when the hurricane was coming. It's human nature to compare yourself to the last cat.
That's why it's much better to meet someone that you like and start the game off from the beginning. Let everything remain a mystery. Don't give the person you want to be with a measuring stick or a symbol of insecurity from the beginning. What if your new woman doesn't think she is as "gifted" as the old one? What if your new boyfriend isn't as "blessed" as the old one? There is no need giving them the anmunition to feel this way. You are just asking for trouble.
2 comments:
i agree totally with you...let your past be your past...it's like carrying excess baggage, if you purchase a new set, give the old set away, it's not for you to keep, nor do you have room for it...you must let it go...we tend to hold on to things from our past relationships, when we should really let it go...if not, then you'll end up spending the majority of your time comparing the two, which would stifle the growth in the new relationship because you'll always be expecting your new mate to do what the old one once did...LET IT GO!!! embrace the newness of your new relationship....by telling your new mate everything, you forfiet the chance to be the new person you should have become by learning from your mistakes in the last relationship ---allow the person to love you the way they know how, never compare two people, we are all individuals.... there are some things that you should remember about your past, such as anything negative or anything that made you feel uncomfortable..know the signs, always learn from your mistakes, not saying you put people in a box, or be stereotypical for that matter, but chances are if it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, acts like a dog---it's a dog...loving is living & living is loving...love yourself...
Your blogs are becoming more focused. You so eloquently disassembled the "friends first" myth. Simply brilliant. I never saw it like that before.
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