Wednesday, November 9, 2005


I finally decided to take my lazy ass over to the gym of this apartment complex and start working off this post Katrina drinking binge. I was riding the exercise bike when this lady walked in. I figured I should say hello since it was just me and her and I like to always make white women calm if I am ever in a situation that has us alone. We ended up having a good 30 minute conversation. Her name was Katie. I answered all the standard questions about New Orleans and the flood and she told me she was a veterinarian. This is when I got jealous of her. Now, I don't want to be a veterinarian. Black people from New Orleans only really like their own pets and some of them catch hell. I was jealous of Katie because she told me that she wanted to be a veterinarian since she was 6 years old and never wanted to do anything different. Her passion for animals is so great she made it through all the outside influences to do what she loves. She told me that she would even do it for nothing if she couldn't make money because she is that dedicated to it. The reason I was jealous is because I am 31 years old and can't think of anything that I have an interest in that deeply. My attention span is so short that even my dreams change every 20 minutes when I am sleeping. I am paying back loans now for education in a field that I can't stand. I don't know if I have a passion for anything. Some people do have a passion for something but they don't pursue it because they think it won't pay enough. How does one develop a passion for something so deep that they can't see themselves doing anything else in life regardless of how much cash they will make. I asked Katie and she really didn't know how it happened to her. All she remembers is that growing up she wanted to be around every animal she seen. Maybe it's natural. Maybe you grow into it. It is my belief that people with passion for what they are doing are far more happy than the rest of us because their actions are not guided by money alone. How many of us are at work everyday miserable because we have this dream or plan to do something different but we never take the steps to make it happen? We justify our normal, unfulfilled lives by our paychecks, the bills we need to pay and what kind of cars we drive but in reality most of us are sitting around daydreaming about that one thing that we wish we could do just to be happy with ourselves even if it never made us rich. Katie has that and I could tell that her mind was free from all the doubt and second guessing that comes from chasing money and status instead of your passion in life. My challenge for myself now is trying to get to that place.

Do you know what your passion is?

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