Monday, November 14, 2005
The Big Easy is Calling Me
Yesterday I decided to finally get out of this apartment and take a walk. The complex has a swing set and some ladders for the kids so I took my daughter over there to play. She had fun and so did I put since you can't really hold an intelligent conversation with a two year old throwing dirt, I had allot of time to think. I was thinking about how comfortable I felt being there with her helping her down the slide but at the same I wanted to get out and do something on my own later and there was nothing I could think of doing. I miss New Orleans. I miss my lifestyle. I am realizing that I am just not designed for living in quiet areas. I grew up on the avenue across the street from bar rooms and pool halls. That's not the most productive enviroment but it always spured something in me. I do realize that the life and places I knew in the city are not the same now and never will be. I have mixed emotions about relocation. With each passing day my plans to go back home or stay here become more and more confusing. There are so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to go back. In six months I will make that decision. Right now, it looks like the bayou is calling. Call me a fool but I love the place and after 31 years I am willing to give it a second chance to get it right. If there is anyone out there that is reading this and is homesick or ready to go home, don't feel bad or strange about it. It's not wrong to want to live where you are from. Every other American has the option to do that if they choose to. It's only us that everyone thinks should be happy to be somewhere else. I'm not going to settle for not having the choice to go back.