Thursday, June 15, 2006
A Day in the Park
One morning a few months ago I had big trouble trying to raise myself out of bed. My stomach simply had taken over all of my body functions. That’s when I knew it was time to get up and work out. I have been going to the park to walk, jog a little, and clear my mind. I never liked jogging because I just don’t see the purpose. You run in a circle and nothing happens. No ones chasing you. There is no race going on. You are just running for nothing. I would much rather play basketball but since I have to much pride to admit to the other guys that I am about to pass out, I stay at the park and walk so if I get tired I can pretend my shoes are untied and sit down. Then, I can start running for a few yards when another person come around and make it look like I am on my seventh or eight lap.
Everyday the same characters are there. The old people are always out there scaring everybody because they look like they will have a stroke any minute. You have the power walker that always looks like she is going to whip somebody’s ass by how forceful she walks. You have the really big girl who you are scared is going to pass out any minute. She is the only one there that helps my self esteem. There is the thick sister that looks fat but is actually in so much shape that she runs circles around everybody and all the brothers out there with women get in trouble looking at her. Then there is Shaka. He is built like we probably all were before we got off the ships and discovered pork. He’s the one that doesn’t even sweat and really doesn’t need to be out there running, He’s just showing off (ever notice how women can look at a man and no one realizes it but when a guy sees a woman he like he has to turn all the way around and be so obvious? And we wonder why we get in trouble).
You know those cartoon when someone needs to make a decision and the angel shows up on one shoulder with the demon on the other? That’s what happens to me at the park. During the drive and the first 30 minutes the angel talks to me.
Angel: “Cliff this is great. I can feel your abs coming back just thinking about the three miles we are going to walk today. It is the commitment to do things like this that will ensure you are around for a long time. After we leave here, we are going to 50 pushups, 50 sit ups and eat a nice salad with lemon juice. YOU ARE A STUD!! Lets get back down to our high school weight.”
That’s what I feel when I get out and start moving. Somewhere around the middle of the second lap. The demon shows up to holla at me.
Demon: “What the hell is wrong with you Cliff? We are out here having pains in our side all because you tried to get out of bed one morning and rolled back in. It’s an air mattress for goodness sake. You would have got out of a real bed. Besides, your pot belly is part of your persona. You are the cute chubby dude. Getting fit will just turn you into some regular old dude. I thought the 12 beer a day diet was working out fine. Let’s go find a Burger King and get that Double Whopper.”
When you let yourself go, it's a bitch trying to get it back.