I've been making post like this a few times a year for the last seven years and that's depressing. I was trying to come up with new words to describe this new wave of violence that I haven't used before during all the other waves. I didn't do a real good job. This was all I could come up with...
Yesterday I was speechless. I didn't know how to explain how I woke up Monday morning feeling like I was partially responsible for a two year old's murder. There's that feeling that since the shooter was a black male and I'm a black male and his dad probably didn't do the right things for him and I am a dad and he's from New Orleans and I am too, that somehow in a very indirect way I am partially responsible. That kind of guilt used to always accompany the grief I feel for the victims of all the shootings. As time passes and the incidents pile up my grief and sadness for the victims is just as deep as it ever was but the guilt part is fading more and more each day. I think we are at the point where the killers have to carry the blame on their own because I haven't shot anyone.
I know a wide range of people in this city from all kinds of backgrounds and cultures. If I threw a party and invited everyone I knew it would be a pretty diverse scene. I can count members of the media, college professors,cats that shoot dice for a living and everything in between among my personal friends. The one kind of person I can say I don't know is a killer. I don't know any killers. I know of a few people who might be killers but over the years I separated myself from anyone like that to actually verify if they were or not. I look at the Crimestoppers list all the time and I can't help them out. I don't think any of the people I know could take you to where any killers are sleeping either.
We can't do it but someone can and when I was reading about all of the violence over the weekend and the descriptions of the suspects and the automobiles they were in I know somebody knows who that car belongs to. They could call and even if they don't give a name they may send the police to the place where the gun is and at least we could get that off the street. It's better than nothing.
It's hard to explain how difficult it is to approach this problem from a black perspective. On the one hand the violence has a greater chance at effecting us than it does anyone else. We are more likely to lose our friends and family to it. On the other hand, so many things have taken place to cause the mind state that leads to the violence that we almost feel obligated to not throw that element of our community to the wolves. Whenever something tragic happens people get to talking and they come up with all kinds of reasons for the problem and solutions to fix them. Everyone is right but everyone talking isn't a killer in the first place so what do you do when the assailants are out here and they don't mind dying and taking you with them?
Folks, I don't know the answer but I know I am sick and tired of this and I am willing to try anything except the National Guard unless they are coming to do forensics and detective work to keep some of these fools in prison. We've came back from too much and work too hard to feel this down.