Monday I wrote about being upset behind not going to a conference. Someone wrote me an email about it and ticked me off a little and I want to address the theme of the person’s message. I was basically told I was showing weakness by what I said. Now, I write this blog to share my ideas, opinions and the way I feel. Sometimes certain situations and decisions don’t sit right with me and I have to get it off of my chest. Where is it written that a black man can’t express feelings of regret or doubt? Nobody has more of those feelings than we do but we can never say anything about them because we have this notion that in order to be considered a man you must be immune to certain emotions. We are supposed to stick our chest out and whip somebody’s ass at the first sign of conflict. The streets are filled with our blood because of the emotional bleeding we keep inside until it comes out violently. How many times have you seen someone chastising their son for crying and telling him to “be a man”? We are brought up learning to repress our feelings then get ridiculed and looked down on when we get older and don’t give a damn about anything. Everybody wants a damn Superman. That’s why men lie to women about being better than they are. That’s why teenage boys lash out at everything. That’s why James Evans daddy went for a loaf of bread and never came back. We got all these feelings and don’t know what the hell to do with them. Even thugs have emotion. That’s why they listen to gangster rap music. It does the same thing for them that a gospel song does for a Christian. It helps them validate what they feel. If you have a son and want him to be grounded when he gets older, let him express himself. If he’s playing football but really wants to take a photography class, buy him a damn camera even if you think it’s kind of girly. Let him try and fail something and learn from it. Make it comfortable for him to express his fears and help him face it head on. Let him talk to you about what’s going on in his head. Honestly, if you ask most brothers they would tell you the one thing in life they need is just somebody to listen without judgment. Sometimes you just want to take that warrior’s mask off and be you. Let these brothers talk and get in touch with that emotion. If they get in touch with the emotion then they will get in touch with their spirit. If they get in tune with their spiritual then they become complete and a complete man is always going to be a better father and leader than some fake ass wanna be tough guy who’s sucking the soul out of the community. I might have a moment or two when things get me down but nothing has ever been able to knock me out.
And that’s as real as I can keep it this morning…..