Sitting On My Porch Part Thirty One

No matter how hard football fans try we can’t get rid of Brett Favre….

Seven days is a long time for me not to post anything. I had things to do. I had to get ready for the first day of school and remove all songs with profanity off of the mp3 player. I was preparing for the five fantasy football drafts I am doing this week. I went to a kiddie party (Chuck E. Cheese is the devil.) I enjoyed a few days of vacation by not thinking too hard. I also had some work to do in my yard.

I had to build a bunker for the day that President Obama’s secret black Nazi army that has been training in Kenya finally storms the shores of America to take my freedoms and liberty. If that doesn’t happen (and it won't) I need the bunker for all the people who actually think this is going to happen. Did you ever think you’d see the day people compare a black president to Hitler? Real Nazis are trying to figure out how they lost their message?

All this really came to a head with the health care debate. It’s all very confusing. There is so much misinformation that it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not anymore. I saw some polls today that said a lot of Americans are worried that the health care plan will give coverage to illegal immigrants. My question is where are all the illegal immigrants living here going for health care now? I know they can’t be going all the way back to their home country to get checked out. Wouldn’t we want to quantify how many are actually seeking care instead of pretending that we aren’t already paying for it? Is this why my boy can’t find the guy who put the new dry wall in his house? Maybe he got the Katrina cough and went home until he’s healthy.

What’s up with all the people coming to the meetings with loaded guns? Add visible guns to the list of things that don’t appear to affect white people like it does to us. If me and my boys roll up to any kind of function and a bunch of guys are outside with automatic weapons hanging from their holsters we are going home. I am not standing out there and debating one of them about the single payer option. When cats in the Ninth Ward show their guns it means they want to use them. Apparently these guys do it just to make a statement.

The health care madness is all going to work out for the better. I just know any day now those insurance companies that are watching the anger around the country on behalf of their profits and control over our health are going to slash those premiums by 50% and eliminate half of the pre-existing conditions they won't cover.

Football season can't start fast enough......

After Brad Pitt decided not to run for mayor someone decided to start a Carl Weathers for Mayor Website. I have no problem with Carl and he might have gotten my vote based on Action Jackson. I just can’t take the guy who played Chubbs in Happy Gilmore seriously. It just goes to show you the desperation in trying to find an inspiring candidate. I would like to submit Rickey Jackson for consideration. If someone can suggest Apollo Creed then I can suggest the senior member of The Dome Patrol. He’s the city champ. He’s my all time favorite Saints player and he once played a game with screws in his face after wrecking his car. That’s the kind of toughness we need. All we have to do is find someone to translate the parts of his speeches that people who are not long time Saints fans can’t understand. I am fluent in Rickey talk so I will do the job pro bono.

After all the speculation whether anyone would sign Mike Vick, he signed with the Eagles relatively quick for a few million dollars. If you can run fast and score touchdowns in America it can get you through a lot of things. It kind of makes me understand why he thought he could get away with it in the first place. I just hope he doesn’t mess up the good name of Donovan McNabb and Tony Dungy.

I hope to see all my fellow local New Orleans bloggers at the Rising Tide Conference this weekend. If you are looking for me at the meet and greet Friday I will be the bald head black guy trying to find The Gap Band on the jukebox. Maybe I can start a Soul Train line.