Sittin on My Porch Part Nine.

Insomnia enhances my writing ability…………………………

Vices are a wonderful thing. The reason I probably have all the ones I do for so long is that I love them all. However, given my reason tendency for mood swings I thought I would try and drop all of them for a trial run and see if that made a difference. I’m sober. The sleeping pills got flushed. I haven’t had a Big Buford cheeseburger. I haven’t had a cigar or been to the strip club. I have come to one conclusion. Anyone who can make it through life with no vices and still not hurt anyone has to be touched by a higher power. There is no way I can keep this up with football being in off season. Let’s move on.

How many people must the Claiborne Avenue Bridge kill before we tear that bastard down and put a new one up there? Let’s add that to the list of shit we are going to demolish in this city. Rest in peace Officer Felix.

Senator McCain, please pick Bobby Jindal to run with you so Mitch Landrieu can take his position and we can have a New Orleans governor.

I have a message for Hillary Clinton, all the jackasses on Fox News and the instigators on talk radio. I hear you keep making these slick comments linking the names Obama/Osama and making references to assassinations. I would like to inform you all that not all white people are bright enough to not take this literally. Some of your cousins believe everything they hear. I realize black ignorance is packaged and sold for entertainment so you might think we cornered the market on that. All of you are not corporate employees and soccer moms like the commercials suggest. Somewhere in a remote countryside some guy in camouflage pajamas is practicing for the time he has to save the county from Bin Laden’s cousin. Stop talking crazy before you get the man hurt.

After watching Kobe light up the Spurs I am starting to be a little glad the Hornets didn’t play them this year because it might have been embarrassing. Chris Paul needs to watch how Kobe gives his teammates about thirty minutes of the game to get it together then totally doesn’t care if they shoot or not towards the end and takes over.

If you ever want quick evidence of the lack of quality education in New Orleans just spend about an hour browsing local pages on My Space. They speak for themselves. My cousin and her kids have some that make me want to get them all DNA tested.

Don’t you hate when you loan friend money and they feel obligated to call you everyday during times they normally wouldn’t to make small talk about things you don’t care about? I loaned you cash because I love you and you are my friend not because I want to hear how the hot sausage po-boy you ate at lunch gave you gas. Stop calling me.

Speaking of my friends, why is it every time I get ready to get my solitary and F the World mentality to its peak performance all my lifetime friends come out of the woodwork and start contacting me to show care and concern? I would think they planned it except they all don't know one another personally. I truly feel the love and appreciation and I love you too but stop calling and texting me unless one of you have my Roots tickets.

I am dedicating my music clip for this post to the brother I met at Bridge House this morning on a business visit. He was there buying a car to put his supplies in to drive around and get his hustle on. He even had a sign already made up to stick on the doors. People like this always move me because I meet them randomly and they always seem to feel what I am thinking. As he put it……….

“Big man, you can’t let em shake ya up to bad ya heard me! You got to keep doing you the best way you can. Ya feel me?”

I feel ya…He looked like the type of brother that would like this clip.