Stay Home Adam

I have been going to gentleman's clubs all over the south since I was 20 years old. I have only seen one fist fight. How is it that every time Pacman Jones goes to the club somebody gets shot? The whole point of going to the strip club is so you can get in a good mood without having to deal with anything serious. Those girls are doing a horrible job at making the patrons relaxed the nights he goes. Plus, he got the rules of engagement all twisted. First, he threw thousands of dollars up in the air and expected women working on tips not to touch it. Then, he brings a girl to the club with him and gets mad when a guy mistakes her for a dancer. What was she wearing to make the guy think that? You don't need a posse to roll to the strip club anyway. It's more fun going alone so one of the dancers with a good heart might think you have no friends and give you a little sympathy attention. That's how you get two songs for 25.00 instead of the usually one for 20.00.

Mama: If and when you read this, please ignore anything that gives you the idea your son has ever attended an establishment such as this. I just wrote about going to clubs myself for dramatic effect. My friends told me about all of this happening while I was at home reading….Now, back to Pacman.

I can't believe out of his whole entourage this brother doesn't have one friend with enough sense to let him know he makes the kind of money playing football to have his own party. He just needs to stay his ass home and serve this suspension quietly. I can't stand wasted talent. He's either going to get shot or banned from the NFL and end up having to get a real job like the rest of us. Adam, if you should happen to read this, please send an email to me so we can talk. I have a comrade named (I can't put my boy's name out there like that. His mama might be reading too.) that throws the best closed door parties ever. His guest list is always pre-approved and sworn to secrecy so the NFL would never find out. I am excited to see what he could do for a guy that is willing to throw 80k in the air and make it rain. He might not even charge you just for the excitement of it all. Do whatever you have to do Adam but stay your ass at home until you are reinstated.