The N.O. Morale Booster

I’ve been quiet about New Orleans. Certain people had accused me of being too caught up in the condition of the city so I just sat back and watched for the last month or so to see what might happen. Well, it’s been long enough and it’s still the same so I am now getting back on my amateur soapbox and complaining. The biggest gripe I have at the moment about being back in the city is the low quality of life for the citizens and the lack of action to change any of it. I have tosay morale is low. The only people that are having a great time are the thieves, hustlers and prostitutes. Everybody else is in a bad mood or stressed. With that in mind, I am going to list ten things that can be done right away within reason to give some life and morale back to the all the fools that have returned home. They might as well use my list since no one else has come up with anything. These are things to just make everybody feel better.

1. Stop Telling People to Come Home: I know the mayor thought that was the right thing to do but the truth of the matter is that the more people we add without housing to match is the more chaos that goes on. I miss my family but I couldn’t tell them it’s time to go back to their street with a clear conscience. At least they are in a cleaner and safer city where they are now. The Ninth Ward just got water last week and even uptown where I work the water comes out kind of brown. There is no way we could handle another five thousand people without the available housing.

2. Re-institute the city curfew: This is not normalNew Orleans since the storm and we shouldn’t act like it. The reality is that there is nothing to do outside of the French Quarter after midnight anywhere else so we need to have a 1:00AM curfew for everyone and 10:00 PM for kids under 18. Stretch it to 2:00 in the French Quarters to be fair and that’s it. If tourist can’t come up with a way to get drunk and fornicate in the privacy of their hotel then they should have stayed home.

3. Fix the traffic lights: Anyone living here now knows that you can’t tell if some of the traffic lights are green, yellow or red. There’s got to be a grant or something to get money for new traffic lights. It’s a safety issue.

4. Put the Inspector General position on the fast track: We have to show we are ready to change the way things are done down here and that is the whole premise of this position. Also, we need to give him/her the ability to go over all current contracts the city has regardless of how old they are.

5. Potholes, Potholes, Potholes: Uptown didn’t get as much water but they sure have the biggest crater size holes in the street. Your entire car can come up missing. It’s either this or FEMA allows everyone to trade in their car for an SUV.

6. Weekly press conferences by the mayor and city council: One of the biggest problems everyone is having is the lack of knowledge about what’s going on. President Bush might not want to admit the war was wrong but even he knows that you have to explain what is happening and that people’s questions may be valid.We need to have updates even if it’s just to say that they haven’t done shit all week. I can deal with that as long as someone acknowledges me.

7. Turn the Lights back on the lake: If the French quarter where the tourist are can have lights all night, then the lakefront where locals to go to hangout and maybe catch a few catfish. I go to the lake for peace when I want to relax. I’m tired of seeing darkness and barricades. That picture at the top is how the lake looks at 7:00 PM.

8. Threaten to place a toll at all entrances to the city: I realize that everyone in the area and the state would get mad about this and probably call Nagin and the Council crazy but I would appreciate the fact that at least somebody proposed something that was strictly for the benefit of the people that actually lived in the city even if it meant pissing off everybody else. They seem to have no problem doing and saying things that we don't like.

9. Hire a Spokesman: There has to be someone that can do a better of job of expressing the views and wishes of the citizens of the city than Clarence.

10. Stand up to the State and Surrounding Parishes: That talk about being a united metro area is only true for Saints games. Every time something happens in nearby city they use words that blame it on evacuees even though they never actually say any of the perpetrators are from New Orleans. I haven’t seen one thing that proves that. They need to start proving that shit or stopping that shit. I also think that one of the reasons the Road Home program is so complicated is because they put in extra shit just to make sure no one thought that New Orleans people weren’t getting over. I think we need to ask for our own money from Washington and tell them that the reason we have to is because as long as the Superdome, hotel and casino money comes in, the rest of this state could care less if one more “refugee” came home or not. I’m starting to think they like it like this.